Half-Week Haiku 32: Mad Mascots

You thought I forgot about you, didn't you? But I am too much in love with you to leave you hanging, my Friends of Internet Hotness. Today's haiku is pretty much going to take some of you back farther in the realms of your pasts than you wish to travel, but here it is:

Tell me about your high school mascot. Um, here was mine.
...No, LITERALLY, this was mine. I got this image from the school's site. Yep, big scary bulldogs. Ruff. See, high school mascots (well, mascots in general) are very rarely fine specimens of unbeatable superiority. You could really pick any of these mongrels to bits without even barely tapping your full sarcastic resources (and I KNOW you've got them because you're ALL mean and cold inside - ha!).
I'll go first...

Bulldog:
gonna kick your ass
oh wait have to lick my balls
and then lick your face

What was YOURS?

Comments

[Eulallia]

We were the "Scots." As in little red-haired men in skirts. It just oozes cool doesn't it?

the highland dancers
hop around in their plaid kilts
to the bagpipe's screech

[Alicat]

We were the Hawks. It was boring.

Hawks were the lamest.
Cheerleaders caught smoking pot -
Parents must be proud.

[Steph]

we had no mascot...
school spirit is for the birds...
plus our school's budget didn't allow for a mascot.

once, the yearbook editor tried to convince everyone that our school mascot was a spartan, but it never caught on.

i miss high school and its apathy.

[whoorl]

silly leprechaun
how many gay toe-touches
will he attempt now?

GO IRISH

[Paige]

parking lot with prints
we spray-painted them one day
oh wolves, we laughed at you so

Is that how you do it? I haven't worked on haiku since 8th grade.

[stephanie]

oh gay Ranger man
with a large floppy white hat
and god knows what else

We were the Rangers. I'm still not sure what that means 13.5 years later. Ack. 13.5 years! Damn, I need to go lay down.

[Mirella]

Gah, we were TURTLES
Specifically, Terrapins
How unmenacing.

As Jon Stewart said of Testudo (our mascot) when he did a stand-up show at our campus, "He's a turtle, but he don't take no shit!"

GO TERPS!

[jamielynnlynn]

bring forth team spirit
head of eagle, lion tail
orange and black gryphon

Blegh. I hated that school.

[kire0524]

*delurking*

We were the "Shamrocks", like the annoying weeds you find in the yard. Threatening, no?

green three leaf clover
what kind of mascot is that?
shortened, we were "Rocks"

*back to lurking*

[Sabine]

darn, I was homeschooled
but I wanted to play too
I guess it was me

*back to picking my nose, stop peeking!*

[Lunchtruck]

We were the Vancouver College Fighting Irish...

Whoorl - I know your pain.

Wee drunk leprechaun.
At least it's better than a
Child molesting priest.

[Crazy K]

THE SAINTS we were called
Halos don't inspire fear
Ah, Catholic school

Yep that about says it all. Thanks for the tip down memory lane. I think I need to go wash up now. feel yucky after that one.

[cat]

PATRIOTS we were
who would imagine that one
some hat that guy wore

[Debbie]

We were the Antlers!
We will stab you with our horns!
Don't cross fucking deer!

Go Antlers!! Gimme an A, Gimme an N! okay, okay, I'll stop now. You don't have to yell at me.

[Kathleen]

we were cougars grr
chick in a dirty costume
blew the soccer star

[PaintingChef]

Farragut Admirals:

landlocked southern state
stupid anchors everywhere
who's idea was this

[Liz]

Ours was the Bruin
What's a Bruin, you might ask?
Well, hell if I know.

[nichole]

sad story. I went to school in Oregon. Small town Oregon. Small town blue collar Oregon. Our highschool was the South Albany Rebels. Our mascot was a southern military dude running and raising a sword. *complete* with the confederate flag.

Yeh. I'll let that percolate for a second.

Needless to say the kids in the 90's successfully changed it to a more PC mascot. I have no idea what it is these days.

[bree]

We were the Riverside Rapids. A new school, it picked the name after the PC freaks had run amok, rubbing out all references to competition and violence in high school sports. I was there at my Jr. High when they made that change, from the Como Lake Grizzlies to the Como, uh, Lakers ...